May 23, 2008
· Filed under Forgiveness, Marriage
From crosswalk.com
By Nancy C. Anderson
Dad sighed and asked us, “What’s your plan?”
My husband, Ron, leaned forward and said, “Plan? Plan for what?”
“You two are going to have to figure out why your marriage fell apart…how to fix it …how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Ron replied, “Well…I don’t know if we need to do all that. I don’t even want to talk about what she did. It’s too painful. Nancy’s back home now — we’ll just move on from here.”
Dad continued, “I wish it were that simple. But it’s not. Your marriage was fractured. If you rebuild a house on a cracked foundation, it might be all right for a while, but when the storms come, that fracture will divide your house. Ron, if you don’t repair the foundation of your marriage, it won’t survive. You can’t just ignore the fact that your wife had an affair. The memory of Nancy’s betrayal and the guilt she will carry will be unbearable for both of you. I don’t think you’ll be able to move on until you, Ron, make one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.”
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May 18, 2008
· Filed under Marriage, Relationship
From Crosswalk
By Dr. Gary Smalley
Can a couple in conflict ever reach a win/lose solution? What if a husband gets a new job in a different state that is going to make his life easier and the family’s life easier, but the wife doesn’t think it would be a wise move? They spend over a month in heated debate on why they should go or why they should stay. Both have legitimate reasons for their arguments, but they are clearly nowhere near a win/win solution. What do they do? How can they possibly reach a win/win solution when they are so far apart? Do they even need to reach a win/win solution?
If these questions don’t seem to have an answer, then try this one: Are you—as a married couple—on the same team? Hopefully your answer is yes, “we are on the same team”. If you truly believe you’re on the same team, then try answering the original question again. Is there ever a scenario where the resolution of your conflict might end up being a win/lose solution? If you’re on the same team, then you know what the answer is … NO!
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May 16, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage, Relationship
From Crosswalk.com
By Drs. Beverly and Tom Rodgers
Children of divorce are at higher risk for divorce than children of intact families. You would think that this would deter the younger generation from matrimony, but findings show that generation Y is more motivated than ever to get married and stay married. We as a culture should do everything we can to help them meet this goal. Our churches can do much to help these young married hopefuls stay married for a lifetime.
The Parents of Today’s Newlyweds
In 1965 the divorce rate surged, peaking in 1979 at the rate of 23 divorces per 1000 couples. This was the boomer generation who ended their marriages in record numbers leaving their children bereft, not knowing what a healthy lasting marriage is all about. It was even true of the church whose divorce rate was no different than that of the secular community.
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May 16, 2008
· Filed under Dealing with Emotions, Marriage, Relationship
From Focus on the Family
By Carolyn MacInnes
Tim and Sandra sit close together on their porch swing, holding hands. It’s hard to believe that less than a year ago, they’d discussed selling their house, splitting their possessions and sharing custody of their three children. The couple explains that a common but treatable illness nearly destroyed their strong 12-year marriage.
“I remember the day it started,” Tim says. “I walked into the kitchen one morning and Sandy was just sitting on the floor. She was still in her bathrobe, and her eyes were swollen from crying.”
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May 16, 2008
· Filed under Marriage, Relationship
From Focus on the Family
By Carol Heffernan
A decade ago, Art and Lysa TerKeurst were on the brink of divorce. Since then their marriage has been transformed. How did their relationship go from awful to awesome? And what practical tips do they have for other couples experiencing marital difficulties?
“I went into marriage thinking of all I was going to get out of it, not of all that I had to give another person,” Lysa admits. “To be honest, Art and I were very selfish in our approach to marriage.”
Lysa soon found that past baggage, combined with the expectation that Art would somehow “fix” her, was a recipe for disaster. “I hungered and thirsted for a husband who would fill me completely,” she says.
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May 16, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage, Relationship
From Focus on the Family
By Amy Tracy
You’ve just found out your spouse may be struggling with homosexuality. Waves of crippling emotions including shock, fear, and panic are washing over you, and you’re not certain where to turn or who to confide in. It’s important at that time, to obtain the truth as swiftly as possible, and take the next steps toward healing.
After spending considerable time in prayer and perhaps with trusted friends and family, you need to present the evidence and express your feelings openly with your spouse. You may choose to do this with him alone or with your pastor or counselor.
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May 12, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage, Relationship
From Focus on the Family
By David Arp, Claudia Arp, John Bell, and Margaret Bell
In-law relationships need a touch of civility. Consider the story of Stephanie, who complained, “My mother-in-law never approves of the way I do anything. The last time Joe and I visited her it happened again. Just trying to be nice and helpful, I washed all the pots and pans after dinner. No sooner had I finished than she washed them all over again!”
Stephanie is not a newlywed. She has been married to Joe for 15 years. That whole time, she and Joe’s mom have silently struggled with being civil to each other. When Joe’s mom comes to visit, Stephanie really tries to get the house clean and comfortable for her. But after arriving, her mother-in-law pulls out the cleaning supplies and spit shines the bathrooms and kitchen. Stephanie assumes she’s doing this because she thinks Stephanie is a slob and lives in filth.
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May 12, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage
From Focus on the Family
By Lysa TerKeurst
James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said, “Some would say ‘having sex’ and ‘making love’ are one and the same, but there’s an important distinction between the two. The physical act of intercourse can be accomplished by any appropriately matched mammals, as well as most other members of the animal kingdom. But the art of making love, as designed by God, is a much more meaningful and complex experience — it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual. In marriage we should settle for nothing less than a sexual relationship that is expressed not only body-to-body, but heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul.”‘
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May 12, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage
From Focus on the Family
By Al Janssen
Why is Song of Solomon in the canon of Scripture? The story is more than 3,000 years old. It tells of how King Solomon discovered a beautiful woman and fell in love with her. There is no mention of God in its eight chapters. In fact, the open expression of sensuality makes some uncomfortable, wondering if such words should even be published in our holy book.
Jewish and Christian scholars generally agree that Song of Solomon is part of Scripture for two reasons. First, it upholds a picture of marital love as it was intended. Here is a glimpse of what God desired when He joined man and wife in the Garden of Eden and told them to “be fruitful and multiply.” For centuries marriages have occurred for many reasons — for economic or political benefits, because the families got along, because the man needed an heir, because it was convenient and that’s what young people did. But marriage primarily for reasons of love has become commonplace only in the last couple of centuries, and not in all parts of the world.
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May 12, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage, Relationship
From Focus on the Family
Passion. In some Christian circles, passion is something that is perceived as fiction rather than fact. Some even believe that God is opposed to it. Is that how you feel? Or maybe you feel that the fire you once felt for your mate has burned out? Are you convinced that passion is for hormone-driven teenagers, not couples who have been married for more than five years?
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May 3, 2008
· Filed under Family, Marriage, Relationship, Serving
By Carol Heffernan
It’s easy to think that only “other people” get divorced. That your own marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who gets the house, the car, the dog. After all, how many of us would walk down the aisle if we believed our relationships would end up in divorce court?
Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and consider themselves Christians, who promise “until death do us part,” can have it all fall apart.
As Christians, we know that applying biblical principles to marriage will give us a stronger foundation than those of our unbelieving friends and neighbors. We know this, but what are we doing about it? In other words, what makes a marriage “Christian”?
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